"Annals, here we come"
Played on June 16th, 2013
Date: 18th day of the 3rd Moon. Year of the Runeforge. Time: Just after sunrise.
After a proper night of ale consumption, I heard a couple of my fellow guildmembers from the adventurer's guild talk about a plan they were hatching.
They planned to get something called the 'Forever Stone' from a place called the 'Mines of Madness'.
That stone is supposed to grant you eternal life and propel you into the Annals of Awesomeness or something.
Although eternal life will never give me a proper Alecasket burial, the Annals of Awesomeness have a nice ring to them, so I thought it might be best if I followed them.
They had hardly reached the entrance to the Mines, when one of my clansmen who was with them, Walendithas, apparently needed to take a number two in the outhouse outside of the mine.
He must have had some wicked dinner last night, because the Giant Purple Worm the Mines' owners had apparently employed as waste disposal did not agree with whatever it was he was fed and he
decided to have the whole of the outhouse including Walendithas as a dessert. He retracted back into the ground shortly after, leaving a gaping hole in the earth.
For some reason I could not fathom, the rest of the pack decided I would be a proper replacement for him and together we entered the mine.
The group consisted out of a very skinny human monk named Dorje, a high elf ranger with a personality disorder (don't all rangers supposed to have bows?), and a human paladin who looked like he spends more time polishing his armor than actually fighting in it.
After finding some goblin tracks leading into the mine I highly suspected an ambush, but fortunately nothing of the sort happened. We did find a dwarven rune scribbled into the floor, which, when I read it aloud,
seemed to disable some sort of defense system further into the mine. (Or it activated the lights, which due to not being activated for over 300 years, instantly burned out again. I'm not sure)
A bit further into the mine, we noticed some sort of storage room with a hole in the wall next to it. It said 'slide' on the wall in dwarven runes next to the hole and I decided to try if I would fit into the hole.
When I barely sat, someone pushed me down the slide. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, what a ride that was. I landed in a pit that was filled with a very thick layer of some sort of lime dust or bone meal. It almost came upto my chest!
Seconds later, the skinny monk landed on top of me. Must have been a soft landing on my thick belly.
The rest of the group did not follow suit, so the two of us decided to explore the dusty cave. Within one step I brushed against something hard and uncovered what looked like the thighbone of a cow.
I pondered how a cow could have ended up here, but was interrupted in my musings by the fact that the rest of the bones started animating into giant bony lizards.
I hate lizards, especially bony ones, so I started casting a mighty thunderwave that blew away Dust and Bones alike. Dust and Bones, do you get it? Do you? Never mind...
A few of the lizards survived, and at the edge of the pit, skeletal dwarves had appeared, that were throwing axes at us.
Although I like the drinking ritual of hitting eachother on the head with the blunt end of an axe as much as the next dwarf, these bony fellows didn't want to stick with the program.
Therefor I transformed into my great cat form and with a growl, I started pouncing on them. Very soon afterwards, both the ranger and the paladin appeared from a doorway in the opposite end of the room and joined the fray.
The ranger went for a dwarf standing on top of a barrel (might be ale in there, hmm...) who was brandishing a diamond tipped pick and was yelling 'Finders keepers! Finders Keepers!' the whole time, like a broken bard.
I hope he wasn't referring to the ale. Anyway, between the monks lightning fast hands, the paladin's ability to scare of the undead and the ranger's bow, errrr, dual wielding swords, we made quick work of the bunch.
Now let's see about this diamond tipped pick. And the ale ofcourse....